Shadows of the Damned is an Awesome Game

If you have any sense of the common variety, you'll agree with me. Otherwise, fuck you.
Fuck you right in the demons.

Given that there's no way to gauge completion, I can't tell you exactly how far into the game I was when I arrived at this conclusion. I also dislike divulging too much about the complexities of the video games I play, in the event that some bright or ambitious mind decides to pick it up based on my praise. I would suggest that everyone reading partake in this pure virtual insanity (shout out to Jamiroquai...who doesn't remember that music video? Floor was moving all over the place...shit was crazy), and if I were the principal of Video Games High School, I would make this "required playing."

Third person shooter horror games are high on the list of favourite genres in my books, if not at the summit. I like the idea of survival horror, unless gameplay prevents me from defending myself. Several titles in this vei come to mind; Amnesia, Slender, titles that provide sufficient scares but leave me helpless in the face of them, my only option being to flee in a maddened, heart pounding manner. That's not a game, for me. However. Games in this genre (often the ones most people complain about...look at me with my opinions that contradict the norm) that provide the player with guns or melee weapons, or use the concept of light in concentration to ward off darkness, are some of the greatest games I've ever played. F.E.A.R., Condemned, DOOM, Alan Wake, Shadows of the Damned all fall into this wonderful category.

The last two excel (Shadows in particular) far past the rest by adding little quirks. Humourous extras that provide comic relief and enrich the gameplay. Things like pages from a story in Alan Wake or bottles of Hot Sake as health rejuvenation potions in Shadows of the Damned. Giving baby mouths strawberries to eat in order to unlock doors and continue the level or, even more hilariously, the explanation behind them (they're allegedly made from tongues. Cherries are even worse), given to you by the talking skeletal head you use as a torch to light your journey. Verbal captions that add another dimension to the game as you play it, while still managing to be relevant in a tutorial or descriptive sense. Mini bosses that destroy objects by singing opera. Shooting goats' heads in order to shed light on an area where the darkness would normally damage you, or make enemies more powerful. On top of everything, it's a constant, vulgar, gory mess.

In Shadows of the Damned, your gun is called a "Boner."

Games like this extend boundaries created by rigid genre-centric predecessors and competitors. Shadows manages to capture the concepts contained in multiple styles of design and gameplay. This epic funtime time-waster, and winners like it, are some of the best games I'll ever play.